The final TV episode of Grace and Frankie was to the point about aging, dying and living big. I loved that these two aging women felt energized and empowered, that they let go of past rules — and constraints — about themselves, and realized that they could do whatever they liked. 

Ideas of how we think we are supposed to live our lives can get in the way of our personal greatness, never mind social constraints and fear. Here are some ideas I use to replace ones that no longer function for me, especially as a painter:

• When faced head on, fear is a great motivator and instructor.
• I will never get it all done, yet I am enough.
• There is always room for improvement.
• It takes a lot of effort to get good.
• Fretting about the past and fearing the future quells motivation.
• Light defines darkness and darkness defines light. Both are needed.
• Comparing and competition kills creativity.
• Breaking the rules and challenging method equals innovation and personal style.
• Not even experts know it all — not every ‘right’ is right for everyone.
• I have to start to get motivated, not vice versa.
• Inclusion and openness to differences creates inner spaciousness.
• It’s okay not to enjoy the process, just proceed.
• Perfectionism is boring and creates anxiety.
• It’s okay to be eclectic.
• Don’t hold back. Play big.
• I can do whatever I want, and if done within my values, it’s all good.

What unties the knots in your knickers?

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  – Marianne Williamson

Nothing is difficult for the man who puts his mind to it. – Nietzsche